The Real Fairy Tale!!

Once upon a time

In a far off land

A beautiful, independent

Self assured princess

Happened upon a frog as she sat

Contemplating ecological issues

On the shores of an unpolluted pond

In a verdant meadow near her castle

The frog hopped into the princess' lap

And said "Elegant Lady,

I was once a handsome prince.

Until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

One kiss from you, however,

And I will turn back

Into the dapper, young prince that I am

And then, my sweet, we can marry

And set up housekeeping in your castle

With my mother,

Where you can prepare my meals,

Clean my clothes, bear my children,

And forever feel

Grateful and happy doing so"

That night,

As the princess dined sumptuously

On lightly sautéed frog legs

Seasoned in a white wine

And onion cream sauce,

She chuckled and thought to herself

I don't fucking think so!!

Forget the Lord, This is the Girls Prayer!!!

MY VIBRO which brings me heaven, rabbit be thy name, thy makest me cum, on earth with eyes on heaven. Give me this day my daily thrill, and forgive me my screams as i forgive flat batteries. Lead me not in2 temptation, but deliver me from frustration. For thine is the the rotation, the power and the buzzing, for ever and ever, No Men.

She Caught My Eye

A blonde lady is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. She has been checking her out since she sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly the gorgeous redhead sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the blonde lady. She reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. 'I'm sure that must have embarrassed you so let me pay for your dinner to make it up to you,' she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, the redhead shares her deepest dreams and she listens, the blonde shares hers and the redhead listens. After paying for everything, the redhead asks the blonde if she would like to come to her place for a night-cap and stay for breakfast. They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings. The blonde lady is amazed and totally impressed. Everything had been SO incredible! 'You know,' the blonde lady said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every girl you meet? ' 'No,' the redhead replies. . . . .

'You just happened to catch my eye.'